I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
