I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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