Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
