Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
