WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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