If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
