Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
