why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
