i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
