Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
