it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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