I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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