It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
