when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
