i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
