I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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