girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
