Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
