Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
