I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
