so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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