Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
