My hand turned me down
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
