Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
