i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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