i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
