question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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