she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
