theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
