did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
