how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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