well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
