How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
