I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
FUCK WHALES
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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