You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
