I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
