He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
