Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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