I feel like I'm in dance class right now
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
