Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
