Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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