Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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