My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
false alarm, still single
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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