I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
