never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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