Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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