Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
