So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
