If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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