i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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