Duck Duck Cougar?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
