I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
