my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
