New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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